I was recently watching an episode of Gilmore Girls and Lorelai was questioning whether she truly liked certain things, or whether it was just to rebel against her mother, and that got me thinking; what do I actually like, and do I just think I should like?
I've never been one of the 'popular' people in life, I've always been the type of person who looked in from the sidelines. I remember at school how I felt the need to bring my P.E kit in a Jane Norman carrier bag as that's what everyone else was doing. Forget the fact it would've been far more practical to get an actual bag that closed (how many times did you lose your socks as they fell out the bag huh?) and I always judged what I should wear to school by what others were wearing. There were certain types of trousers, skirts, jumpers etc that people wore and of course I didn't want to stand out, be different.
I realise now that it was stupid, but it's how it was, and to be honest, kind of how it still is. However, now I find myself questioning things, and whether I actually like them or just think I should.
Exhibit A) Clothes - so many clothes I want are because I've seen others wearing them. When I buy clothes I try to picture other people wearing them, see if they're on trend etc. Do I actually like the clothes or do I think others will like them?
Exhibit B) Travel - I've never thought much about travelling but since I see all these other bloggers posting their luxurious holidays it makes me think about going to new and exotic places too. Though, no one has sold me on Thailand yet, and I definitely still don't want to go hostel hopping.
Exhibit C) Blog Posts - This is the trickiest one. People always say write want you would want to read, however it's so difficult to also keep originality. Or at leas I think that. There are so many bloggers whose style I admire, but do I admire them because I like their style or because so many others do?
I also find myself questioning, would I still be like this if social media didn't exist? It's so easy to see the highlights of people's lives and want to live it yourself. Yes I realise people only share what they want others to see, but it's hard not to think that people have their lives so much more perfect than my own. (Don't get me wrong I love my life, it's great and I'm extremely happy, I'm being overly dramatic.) It's easy to follow these bloggers, vloggers and celebrities and see what they get up to, what they wear, where they go etc and want to emulate it yourself, but what if we couldn't see that?
I'm still undecided on how I feel about all this, but I think the fact I'm questioning this is the start of something. Hopefully one day I'll be able to find the balance, and when I do, well, I expect you'll get another random blog post that doesn't make sense.