1) OMG my follower count is going to go up so quickly.
2) I should probably make a blog post telling everyone I have Twitter so they follow me.
3) Actually maybe that's a bit desperate, let's add it to the end of my next blog post.
4) Why haven't I got a thousand followers yet?
5) Quick write something witty and brilliant so that everyone in the universe re-tweets it.
6) Oh, it only got one favourite... maybe I'm not as hilarious as I think.
7) No, that can't be true. People must just not get my humour.
8) This blog post hasn't been read by many people, I know I'll tweet it out.
9) How many times can I re-word this sentence so it looks like I'm tweeting something new?
10) Damn you one 141st character.
11) Oooo a #bbloggers chat. That's a great way to gain loads of new followers.
12) Ah, Twitter drama, how exciting.
13) Oh, another lot of Twitter drama, erm ok.
14) MORE Twitter drama, yawn.
15) I haven't tweeted all day. I wonder if people have missed me...
16) Why are other people's lives more exciting than mine? This is not fair.
17) How come when one person posts a picture of their cat it goes viral and they earn millions yet a picture of my cat is lucky to get a favourite?
18) No ones has commented, favourited or re-tweeted my selife, am I that ugly? Maybe the duck face pout to show off my new lipstick isn't that great...
19) I know, I'll post a picture of my new nail varnish, people eat that shit up
20) BOOTS HAUL
21) I wonder if I should set up an Instagram...